sexygaywizard:

sexygaywizard:

sexygaywizard:

50rats:

sexygaywizard:

sexygaywizard:

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Holy shit, oh my god! 50 of them??

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Me when I’m a sexy gay wizard that suddenly realizes they are being followed by 50 rats

wizard rat leaping through the air, many tiny rats following, trying to catch up to sexygaywizardALT

OMG LMAO I WOULD NEVER RUN FROM YOU, 50 RATS, I JUST DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE BEHIND ME

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You know what you are so right… We have a bond, these 50 rats and I….

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OH SHIT OH NO

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WAIT

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I CAN’T FEED THIS MANY RATS

Oh wait I’m a fuckin wizard lol

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Yay :) Enough treats for everyone :)

(via ysabelmystic)

amalgamasreal:

So Universal Pictures may have just intentionally over-pruned all of the city owned trees in front of their LA corporate office in an effort to fuck with the WGA/SAG-AFTRA picketers during what is predicted to be the hottest week of the year so far:

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And the LA City Controller is looking into it:

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Once again it looks like it’s time for:

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(via aplpaca)

t-counter:

evilwizard:

t-counter:

evilwizard:

the gimmick blogs are like tumblr’s rogue gallery. yes we’ve got some heroes, yes we’ve got some villains, but more importantly if you look over here you will see some freak who devotes all their time to counting the number of “t’s” in a post

T Count: 15

Letter Count: 198

Your T Percentage: 7.58%

Average T Percentage: 6.95%

You used the letter T 1.09 times as much as average!

YOU EXIST???

Sometimes you create a guy and it turns out they already exist

(via ysabelmystic)

absolxguardian:

hownottolearnalanguage:

I’m kind of glad to hear that everyone does this. Because it means it isn’t colonizer bullshit, it’s what everyone does. It’s just people discovering new things. Everyone goes:

“Oh hey these people have their own style of [language A’s word for thing. Say, what do you call it?”

“Oh it’s [language B’s word for thing].”

“Got it, it’s [language B’s word for thing] variety [language A’s word for thing]”

(via anexperimentallife)

blapis-blazuli:

crocodile-dandy:

I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch-ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife! That’s right, he took his hedgehog-fuckin’ quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was “this big,” and I said “that’s disgusting,” so I’m making a callout post on my Twitter.com: Shadow the Hedgehog, you’ve got a small dick, It’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here’s what my dong looks like! That’s right, baby, tall points, no quills, no pillows — look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong! He fucked my wife, so guess what, I’m gonna fuck the Earth! That’s right, this is what you get: my SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I’m not gonna piss on the Earth, I’m gonna go higher!! I’m pissing ON THE MOON! How do you like that, Obama?! I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT!! You have twenty-three hours before the piss drrrrroplllllllets hit the fucking Earth! Now get outta my fucking sight, before I piss on you too!

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Happy one year anniversary to the video that gave us this improvised gem.

(via aplpaca)

syntheticsapphire:

the deep sea creatures when a scientist shows up with a flashlight outta no where

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(via raurusrightarm)

earhartsease:

babylonbirdmeat:

babylonbirdmeat:

People will tell me to Touch Grass and I am just like “I live in the FUCKING desert what grass????”

@spitblaze

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I am trying but they are so fast and crafty

tortoises?

(via anexperimentallife)

the-skringler:

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I believe I’ve just created a hard pic of all time..,,. feel free to screenshot,.,,,.

(via anexperimentallife)

jcrewguy:

Then it needs to collapse. If you can't figure out how to pay your workers a full, living wage and share some profit while grossing billions, paying yourself hundreds of millions, and making wall street analysts happy with your numbers, your industry needs to be fucking rubble. https://t.co/OI5hvPLRwf  — David Simon (@AoDespair) July 16, 2023ALT
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(via aplpaca)

notajerusalemcricket:

radioactaiv-outsane:

tiktoks-for-tired-tots:

yknow i was wondering why i recognized this guy and then the username watermark finally caught my eye. and yall. its him.

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WHAT?

(via aplpaca)

kelsierfortnite:

cosmere-cat:

jonnywaistcoat:

If you had teeth and a jaw strong enough to chew and eat metal, what do you think the best would be? Copper’s obviously a basic bitch answer, but I just don’t think aluminium would have the depth of flavour. I mean, I don’t want to be the lead guy, but why mess with a classic?

We in the cosmere fandom had the metal tasty battle, hosted by @kelsierfortnite, decide this very question. And here are the results from the last poll:

Screenshot:

A tumblr post by kelsierfortnite posted on May 27: Today is fortnite anniversary, may 27th, my second birthday, and today we start the final round. (image of a piece of crinckled gold foil) (image of a lot of small balls made of tin) poll subtitle: so......... which is not only tastier, but the TASTIEST? poll option 1: CHEWING GUM GOLD (poll option 1 is at 45.5%, and is grayed out) poll option 2: EPIC TIN BALLS (poll option 2 is at 54.5%, and is blue) Final results from 279 votes reblog by kelsierfortnite on June 3: (in big, italic, orange letters): EPIC TIN BALLS ULTIMATE TASTIEST METAL tag: #metal tasty battle 62 notesALT

Link:

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I could eat this like chocolate chips they would melt in my mouth I know theu would. Yeah I mean look at those balls. Delicous as hell I could suck on them forwver and always like a candy thing. Great balls

(via cosmerememes)

were–ralph:

alphabetcompletionist:

were–ralph:

evilwizard:

were–ralph:

Tumblr is unique bc like. It’s collaborative shitposting and you can’t opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

26/26

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(via ysabelmystic)

Kreon by Stijn.